


Who Do You Want To Be?

by SupernaturallyObsessed



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Canon Divergence - Thor (2011), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Loki (Marvel) Needs a Hug, Odin (Marvel)'s A+ Parenting, Reader-Insert, Slight hints of possible romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-22
Updated: 2020-06-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:08:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24851353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupernaturallyObsessed/pseuds/SupernaturallyObsessed
Summary: While you're wandering around Asgard's palace you happen to find a distressed Loki. Rather than simply walk away, however, you decide to offer assistance and end up discovering a lot more than you expected.(Canon divergent from right after Loki learns he's Jotun and Odin collapses.)
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Comments: 4
Kudos: 79





	Who Do You Want To Be?

**Author's Note:**

> I was talking with a few friends this morning about how I feel bad for Loki and want to wrap him in warm hugs. So then this happened.
> 
> (Minor edits for grammar and such completed 1/11/21)

When you found Loki--more like stumbled upon since you hadn’t been searching for him--he was hidden away in a small alcove in a distant corner of the castle that people rarely spent any time in. You didn’t even know why you were in that part of the castle to be honest. You’d just been exploring, which may or may not have been entirely allowed, you weren’t really sure. Both of your parents had important roles in the Court, however, so you knew that as long as you didn’t go anywhere especially private, important, or dangerous, you weren’t likely to get into much trouble. 

The dark haired man was curled in on himself and sobbing quietly. Rationally you knew that you should turn around and leave the second son of Asgard alone since he was known to have a bit of a temper sometimes and he probably wouldn’t want anyone seeing him so emotional, but you couldn’t bring yourself to abandon someone who was so clearly in distress.

“My Prince?” you asked tentatively. “Are you alright?” You knew it was a stupid question--if he was alright he wouldn’t be sobbing in an alcove--but you hadn’t known what else to say in the moment.

Loki jumped at your voice. Fast as lightning he was standing in a defensive position with a dagger in each hand.

You quickly took a few steps back and held your hands up to show you weren’t a threat. “I’m sorry,” you said hastily. “I didn’t mean to startle you. It’s just that I was walking and I happened to find you and it was obvious you were upset and I knew you probably wanted to be left alone, but I couldn’t just walk away from you when you were suffering like that so I had to check on you.” Your eyes widened in fear as well as embarrassment at everything you’d just admitted. You had a terrible habit of rambling when you were nervous. 

“What do you want from me?” Loki hissed.

“Nothing. I just don’t like seeing people in pain,” you replied honestly. “Although I wouldn’t mind if you put the daggers away, your highness,” you added quietly.

The young prince still looked suspicious about you and your motives, but he vanished the daggers. He then rubbed at his eyes to wipe away the tears as he tried to compose himself. 

You knew there were plenty of ways he could kill you without the blades, but you still found it reassuring for him not to be holding them. “Do you want to talk about it?” you asked, lowering your hands now that the immediate danger was gone.

Loki raised an eyebrow at how open and forward you were. “Who are you?” he asked in lieu of answering. 

“(Y/N),” you said. Admittedly, starting off with an introduction probably would have been smart. You didn’t usually do things the ‘normal’ way though. “My parents are here for a Court meeting so I decided to tag along. I got bored waiting for them and thought I’d explore.”

The god of mischief smirked a little at your response. He liked people who had a little spunk and a sense of adventure. He gave a non-committal hum at the new information.

You stood silently for a moment, wondering what to do. “You didn’t answer my question,” you said suddenly, still holding eye contact with the prince.

“What?” Loki asked, clearly caught off guard.

“I asked if you wanted to talk about whatever happened. I realize that we just met and hardly know each other, but sometimes it’s nice to talk to an impartial outsider.” You gave a small shrug. 

For the life of him Loki couldn’t understand why he was even considering the possibility of opening up to you, but for some reason something about you made him feel comfortable and safe. He moved a little to lean against the wall and look out the window, finally breaking the eye contact the two of you had been sharing since he had stood up. “Father has fallen into Odinsleep,” he said. That wasn’t the main reason he had been crying, of course, but it seemed like a good admission to use to test the waters on how you’d react.

“That must be hard; having him physically there but not really there,” you answered without missing a beat.

He wouldn’t admit it out loud, but Loki was glad you hadn’t said you were sorry. He didn’t want mindless platitudes or useless pity. He appreciated the fact that you were respectful of his position while still treating him like a person. You weren’t fawning over him or treating him like a fragile vase, prized only for its beauty and material worth. Apparently that was practically all he’d been to Odin though. A relic stolen for a master plan that was no longer necessary. “That’s not all,” the prince said, the words coming out before he could think better of them.

You tilted your head slightly. Admittedly you hadn’t thought Loki was the type to break down in the hallway simply over the Allfather being in Odinsleep, but you hadn’t been planning to push the issue, figuring you’d already overstepped enough. You waited for Loki to continue talking but after a couple minutes of tense silence it seemed like that wasn’t going to happen. “Loki?” you asked softly. “What is it? If you want to talk, I’ll listen, and I swear to you that I won’t tell anyone.”

Your words broke the dam and suddenly the truth and emotions came pouring out once again. “I’m adopted. I…” his voice hitched. “I just found out. My wonderful father decided to keep that fact from me my whole life. He probably would have continued to keep it from me had I not found out on my own.”

“Oh,” you said, losing your poise a bit for the first time in the conversation. “You’ve been raised as Odin’s and Frigga’s son practically your whole life though. That means you’re still Prince Loki like you thought you were all along,” you added once you got your footing back again. “Does it matter who your biological parents are?”

Loki truly had no idea if it was smart to say his next words, but he was too committed by that point to be able to stop himself. If you reacted horribly he could always kill you and make your death look like an accident if he had to. “It does when your biological parents are from Jotunheim rather than Asgard.” The prince continued looking out the window as he made his final admission, not wanting to see the look of disgust he was sure would be on your face.

You were quiet for a while as you processed the revelation that had just been thrown at you. Truthfully, your initial thought was to recoil and run away. Frost giants were the enemies of Asgard. After a moment, however, you reconsidered. You looked down at the well-polished floor as you spoke. “You know, my mother always told me something since I was small. She said the most important thing about someone isn’t what they are, it’s who they are.”

The mischief god reeled at that. He’d expected fear, anger, disgust, dismissal, or any number of negative reactions from you. Never in a million years would he have thought you would give him this tentative acceptance. He realized quickly that you must be playing with him and acting as if you were alright with everything in order to get whatever boon it was that you wanted from him. He turned back to look at you. “I’m a frost giant,” he bit out angrily. “That’s who I am.”

“No,” you said simply. Loki’s anger frightened you somewhat, but you weren’t a person who backed down easily. “A frost giant is what you are. That doesn’t dictate who you are.” You took a few steps closer to the damaged prince in front of you. “Yes, Jotuns and Asgardians don’t get along, but, aside from some childish pranks when you were younger, you yourself have never done anything to harm Asgard or her people.”

“What is it you want of me?” Loki asked harshly as he seethed. “Clearly you’re acting alright with this and offering me fake comforts so that I’ll grant you some boon in return for your actions. So what do you want? Just spit it out and get out of my face.”

“What?” you asked, caught off guard at his accusations. “Loki, I don’t want anything. Seriously. I truly was just wandering around the castle while my parents are in a meeting with whichever boring dignitary it is they’re talking to today. I didn’t even expect to find anyone here. When I saw how upset you were I wanted to see if I could do anything to help. People often tell me that I’m a good listener and I thought that maybe you’d appreciate having someone to talk to who wasn’t a servant who was paid to do it.”

Loki’s mouth dropped open a little bit at what you were saying. He wanted to stay angry and not believe you, but it was hard to do. You truly were a fierce and remarkable woman and he felt his anger deflate in the face of your acceptance. “I don’t...why...thank you,” he said softly.

You gave the prince a small smile, though he’d turned his head away from you again so you weren’t sure if he saw it. “We don’t get a choice in who our parents--biological or adopted--are, but we do get a choice in the person we grow up to be. Who do you want to be, Loki?”

“I’m not sure,” he answered honestly after a moment of thought. He didn’t think anyone had ever asked him that question before. He’d simply been raised to be a prince and been groomed for a throne he knew he would never get the chance to have, although until recently he hadn’t fully known why. He looked at you once more with unshed tears brimming in his eyes. “I don’t know who I want to be and I feel as if I no longer know who I am currently. The man I called my brother has been banished to Midgard, the man I called my father stole me away for a planned purpose that is now unnecessary and he is now asleep so I can no longer discuss the matter with him, and the woman I called my mother is sitting dutifully at his side.”

You hadn’t thought about the full repercussions of the Allfather falling into Odinsleep until that moment and your eyes widened as you realized what it seemed Loki had yet to discover. “Loki,” you started to say slowly. “If...if Thor is banished, and the Allfather is in Odinsleep, wouldn’t that mean that the line of succession falls to you?”

Loki whipped his head around so fast that you were scared he might hurt himself. “But I’m…” he trailed off, unable to finish the sentence.

“You’re the second prince of Asgard. The fact that you have Jotun blood in your veins doesn’t change that. Especially since no one else knows about it.”

The prince in question looked close to falling to his knees with all the conflicting emotions that were weighing him down. “But I can’t be king.” All the years he’d been jealous of Thor he hadn’t really spent coveting the throne. All he’d truly wanted was to be out of Thor’s shadow. He wanted to be recognized more for his talents and his own merit rather than feeling like everything that happened to him was simply because he was Thor’s younger brother. That was why he’d let the frost giants in on the day of Thor’s coronation. He’d wanted to mess with his brother and show that relying on brawn wasn’t always the way to win.

You felt heartbroken at how sad and lost Loki looked in that moment. So much had changed in such a short time and his world had been turned upside down. “You most certainly can be king. Even if everyone in the realm thought it would be Thor taking the throne next, you’ve been raised for this role as well. Plus you’ll have your mother and the Council and the Court there if you need guidance. I’m sure you’ll make a wonderful king, Your Highness.”

Loki took a step toward you and raised his hands besides your biceps, but dropped them before actually touching you. “(Y/N), will you...will you be there as well?” he asked. “I know it is not how things traditionally go, but if your parents are members of the Court then it is not completely improper for us to interact. You’re one of the first people in my life to treat me the same as a regular person and I greatly appreciate and respect that. You’ve accepted the worst thing about me without judgment and, in only a brief amount of time, have made me feel incredibly comfortable and safe. You seem to believe in me a lot more than I believe in myself right now. Perhaps if you are by my side I will manage to be the king you think me capable of being and not the disappointment I fear I would be on my own.”

The request shocked you, but you recovered quickly. “Of course, my King. Whatever you require of me I will provide,” you said formally.

“No,” Loki said, shaking his head. “Do not accept because you think it is required of you. That was a request, not an order. Please only accept if you truly desire to. I will not be angry if you decline.”

You gave Loki a smile at his reassurance. “It would be an honor, Loki. If you want me to stick around, I won’t run away.”

The god finally raised his hands once more--this time he actually placed them on your upper arms--and as he closed his eyes he leaned down so that his forehead was touching yours. “Thank you, little one.”

You closed your eyes as well and brought your hands up to rest lightly on Loki’s arms. Rationally you knew this wasn’t the proper way for a lady of Asgard to act around her prince/temporary king, but emotionally the actions felt perfectly natural. “Whatever you need, Loki, I’m here.”

The two of you stayed like that for a moment more before Loki pulled away and dropped his hands. “Come. I need to speak to my mother and we should probably talk with your parents as well.” He held out his arm and smirked, his eyes bright. “May I escort you, my lady?”

“Thank you, your majesty.” You placed your hand on Loki’s arm and let him lead you away.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you liked the story! Comments and kudos are always appreciated!


End file.
